Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Dear Mr. Darcy,
Remember that time when you found that woman you love, Miss Elizabeth Bennett, crying in the tea room because she had just gotten a letter from her really nice sister, Jane, about her obnoxious little sister, Lydia, eloping with the awful Mr. Wickham? Remember how you decided to drop everything and go to London, find Mr. Wickham and Lydia, force them to get married, and cover all of Mr. Wickham's debt because you loved Lizzy so much you didn't want her to suffer any emotional trauma?

I was wondering if you might have a brother or maybe you yourself might be available for my emergencies? Like say....when I am 83 miles from my house, running on petrol fumes, and I realize I don't have my wallet?

But then again, you are a fictional character.

And like I said before, my life is ruining Jane Austen.

Thanks anyway.

If I Needed You by Townes Van Zandt

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