Sunday, April 20, 2008

This Week on Wild Kingdom...

(Warning the following post contains scenes not suitable for the faint of heart, or anyone who wants to chastise me for not cleaning behind the toilet.)

Well, it must be Spring.

For the past few weeks I have been startled by Fred, our resident baby whiptail lizard. It has taken me a while to get used to seeing Fred every time I turn on the bathroom light, mostly because he is about the size of a scorpion and tends to charge me rather than run away. Can you see him in this picture?
Despite his intrusion on my private time, I have tolerated Fred and have even been so kind as to keep Tanner away from him. (Tanner has a thing for lizards.)

But last night, during my shower time, Fred decided he would go ahead and push the limits of my patience and invite some friends over.

This is who I found waiting for the party to start when I got out of the shower.No, despite what I might have thought the first time, that is not the cord to a fan or a heater that somehow made it to the back of the toilet.

If you'll note, the intruder seems to be heading for a specific place, which happens to be a snake sized hole between the wall and the bathroom vanity.
Lucky for us, this happens to be "The Room of Great Contemplation," which is exactly what R had to do to figure out how to get Fred's friend out from under the vanity. We sat for a while hoping that he would come out again once he had ascertained that there was no party under the sink. But then it occurred to both of us that perhaps the reason we keep finding critters of the reptilian sort in this particular area of the house may have something to do with holes in the adobe behind the vanity. This is the only solution we could come up with that would not result in A) smothering the snake under the vanity thus causing horrendous smells from now until we move out or B) requiring us to eat our dinner on the bathroom floor until the snake finally emerged.
I also think that R just wanted to use his jigsaw.

The little sucker was kind of wiggly once R pulled him out from the hole. There was a moment when he almost escaped again and I did a lot of screaming.
But finally, he was captured. I swear he looked a lot bigger than this when I first saw him.
R once again deposited our intruder far, far from the house and me, where all snakes belong.
This happens to be the second Kingsnake to make it into our house. I am starting to think there might be a nest somewhere. And I just gave myself the hebejebes.

My brother-in-law - who is called affectionately "GQ" by his mom - called me "city folk" for being scared of the snake in my bathroom. Though I disagree with him that I am city folk on account of a lot of other factors, I am still terrified of snakes. I think my fear might have something to do with seeing this off Babe and Papaw's dock when I was little. I recall it hissing and swimming toward me and mom or dad (whoever was with me). There was lots of screaming and possibly some wetting of pants. A vivid and unpleasant memory. I heard somewhere that it takes 14 pleasant experiences to replace 1 bad experience. Unfortunately for my experiences with snakes, I am not sure that is ever going to happen.

Oh, and as for Fred? He's about to get evicted for misbehavior.


Anonymous said...

good times... - Ryan

Toner said...
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TucsonLizzie said...

This is a great post!!! Oh man, what do you think Fred and his slithery pals do at their potty parties?

TucsonLizzie said...

It seems like all the guests might be stripey.

Archaeology Ash said...

Clearly, potty parties are used to plan different ways to scare me. And whoever has the best idea, gets to live.